Meshell- the continuing saga

So many people in the poverty culture live a real soap opera. I always thought those shows were an exageration, then I got to know some people and their stories. Meshell , her 5 year old son, her mom and 2 brothers are part of the unseen homeless. Meshell and her mom are always together (it's a survival thing as they pool together their disability checks). Nearly every time I hear from them they are living in a new place. Sometimes it is their own place, a rental or even one they are buying, then some months later, they are with a relative, grandma or now an ex-husband's wife's house. It is north of town (sort of), in Impact, a poverty riddled area outside of the city loop, far from any services, part country, part city, part junkyard.

Meshell is looking forward to summer when one of her biggest headaches will disappear temporarily. They have been without a car for a year, which I totally can't imagine. The agent and I share a car and it can get difficult in the Fair Mother city that doesn't have real stellar public transportation. Now they are farther than normal, when one of her biggest challenges came. The school system refuses to send a bus to pick up her son. According to them, she has moved too much and they can't keep changing their schedules around for him. Well, that should help this struggling family. Once again, those who have plenty were being inconvenienced "beyond their ability" and the poor have yet another nearly insurmountable problem added to the pile. And yet she doesn't complain or lash out. I imagine she has gotten used to it.

Jorge

Jorge is Jessie's current boyfriend. He is a Mexican from Mexico. Jessie says she's mexican too, but she's not nationally or culturally really, but she is learning some Spanish due to the fact that Jorge barely speaks English. This is like a generational replay since Jessie's mom's boyfriend is Mexican, who barely speaks English.

We were all hanging out for mother's day, which was a really sweet time of enjoying each other and playing spanish bingo. Jorge and Frieda's boyfriend got really animated as we played and they were able to tell us some about their moms in Mexico.

I found out that Jorge came over with just his dad and uncle when he was only 16 years old. I can't imagine the terror he must have had and the loneliness he still feels with his mom and siblings, his life and all he knew so far away and totally unaccessible to him now. He is here with some forged papers, working as a dishwasher. His hands are red and diseased looking- from the bleach water he washes with. They hurt him a lot. He rides a bike across town to work, every day, rain or shine.

He sends money home and gifts, to his niece, mom. He's quiet, with a timid smile. I can't imagine living his life.

The book shares a lot of counsel about how we should treat foreigners. No matter if they are here legally or not, I don't think it includes hunting them down with riffles and ferreting them out of our food pantries. This is already one young man who has given up so much at the chance for a better life for his family. What if he was welcomed with love, understanding, compassion and the same opportunity as others? What if we really treated our neighbors as ourselves?

generosity

I'm trying to learn something that has always been difficult for me: generosity. I am so humbled by many people of poverty who give their all and beyond their means - while me and (most of the middle-class culture) reasons away sharing and giving.

It shames me to say it, but often, I give the minimum. I figure out what is expected of me, or what I think should be expected according to how close I am to the person, the occasion, even if they will be thankful...

I was given $20 unexpectedly for helping watch some kids. Jessie had helped me some with them and I felt like it would be generous of me to give her half, even though she wasn't there the entire time and I fed them out of my cupboard (see my "superior" reasoning abilities). The next night was big buddy's birthday party. She gave him a card she had bought and the $10.

Here is a young girl that most would look down upon. She doesn't have work. She gets a disability check (for being mentally slow). She lives with her boyfriend and they live with her mom. She gives hilariously, generously, from the heart, with abandon, not thinking of herself or tomorrow. I have a lot to learn from her.

family messiness

It was a simple mission: take Big buddy and son to the store. It was tortuous and made me want to weep. The son is cooking, but the dad holds the purse strings. Previous outings (pre-son) were arduous, but joyful. Big Buddy loved to get food and prepare it. He would take out tons of cash (for groceries and to live off of) and you could tell he felt like a new man. With son present, Big Buddy acts like a scrooge. He took out 1/4 of the money he usually gets (not enough for 2 men to eat from), squabbled over anything his son so much as glanced at, refused to buy the food he wanted which the son was not going to eat, loaded up on candy and overspent his measly cash withdrawal. His son purchased $10 of his own food so that he could eat something and enjoy it without any comments from his dad. Big Buddy and I started to get into it right in the store. He was complaining about the rice his son was buying (because it was not his kind of rice). He thinks his son is just mooching off of him, meanwhile his son is expected to live with him 24-7 so that Big Buddy won't have to go to a nursing home. For this constant care, Big Buddy gives him nothing but complaints, and rude comments about money. He says his son doesn't know Jesus and yet his son is the one who literally laid down his life in Houston, to come care for the man who did not raise him and is spat upon verbally and emotionally by the one who calls himself a follower of the Lover. I know none of us are perfect, but the root of the matter stems from the difficult places they hold: of father and son. Until some of their past, unresolved issues are dealt with, they may continue to tear each other down.

If this was any other person it would not be like this. Big Buddy was generous, often buying us gifts of food when we took him to the store, but he can't get his son some boxed rice. Why are we ugliest with family?

Meanwhile, Jessie, her boyfriend and I went to visit her mom in the hospital (she just had surgery). Things get messy when Frieda is gone from the home. The boys get into trouble. According to Jessie, they are getting involved in illegal stuff. I think this is new for the Tiger. I hope none of it's true, but from what we can see, it doesn't look good.

I know there is a reason the CEO is described as Father, why the body is the family. There is only one way out of all this mess and it's through the blood of a brother. May we all find the Lover's way and accept his grace before we tear each other to smitherines.

She finally did it

Mbamie finally passed her learner's permit test. Quit laughing. I know this is supposed to be pretty easy, but it was so incredibly hard for her. I really think she passed by some mistake of the DPS lady as she was putting in Mbamie's answers. This was her 7th try to pass the test. I've translated for her for the last 3. We've studied, gone over info, any time I was with her in the car we went over rules of the road, we got her failed test back the second time to find out the correct answers...

She's pretty much illiterate in her own language. She has limited English skills. Very poor paper/book learning skills. No understanding of how to write tests, what are multiple choice questions, why they keep changing the test on her...

We were all praying including her husband in Africa, her, me and others. I almost gave up on the 1st page. We had just gone over one of the answers she got wrong on the last test while driving over. It was raining and the question was about slippery roads- can't get much more hands on than that- unless she was behind the wheel! Lo and behold, the first question was what we'd just talked about- AND SHE ANSWERS IT WRONG. As well as the next 2 questions. There are 30 questions, about 5 to a page and I almost told her we may as well hand it in after page 1 and give up. She had many other missed answers on other pages and you're only allowed 9 errors, so really I think some funny math got her through. We are just so happy she made it!!! She said one refuge in Dallas did the test 26 times.

Now she can learn to drive- which really terrifies me. Her siblings are horrible drivers and they passed the test the first try. Sometimes when they come to my house I tell them to go back and repark the car since it's sticking way out in the road at an angle. The teenagers next door, who have been driving since they were about 12 laugh at my friends when they attempt to drive up or park. I think these same siblings are going to teach Mbamie to actually drive now. Lord help us all- seriously.

But there is no other way. Public transportation in the fair mother city doesn't work for people with jobs and kids and only 24 hours to the day. It takes 2 hours and a trip back to the terminal to get anywhere. Half the time you could walk faster- but what do you do with a sick 3 year old and no ride to the doctor's an hour's walk away? (true situation)

Bored???

I was talking with Meshell and asked about her day which she said wasn't very good. I asked her why and she said she'd been bored. I remember being bored about twice as a teenager, maybe a few more times than that in adulthood- then never again. I always have a pile of books I'd like to read, recipes I'd like to try, play time with the kids, the time sucking world wide web, arts... I'm not saying this is a good thing. I think most of our society errs on the end of unhealthy busyness, filling our lives up with stuff (material and activities) so that we don't have to deal with the uncomfortableness of our raw selves, of being alone with the Lover, of surrendering, repenting, being challenged to change...

But many of the people I have met from the poverty culture live in this very different arena of boredom. Mostly these are the ones with some fixed disability income that gives them enough to survive, but not enough to do much of anything else.

My heart weeps for her and those caught in boredom, because I know the Lover calls us to so much more. Neither do I want to be trapped in busyness. I think this is one of the reasons we need each other.

Lover, give Meshell and my other "bored" friends passion for you and help them find ways to live fully and abundantly as you have called us to and may I lay down the pursuits that are not of you, that are unhealthy distractions keeping me from the fullness of life.

flying high!

Big Buddy's home, Big Buddy's home, Big Buddy's home!!! We are so totally excited. This is just momentous. I mean it's been almost three months since he's been gone and he wasn't home long before that and another stint in the hospital. I'm so glad he's home and that his son is there to take care of him, which is a total work of the CEO. The last visit he made didn't go well, and we'd prayed that they would be able to come to a healthy and good place in their relationship. This is miraculous that they are together and at least tolerating if not openly loving. I think Big Buddy recognizes that this is pretty huge, his son laying down his life to be here for his dad (who wasn't really present as a dad during his growing up). It is definitely a sign of love that the son is here for him now (although there are some underlying weirdness as causes too, we'll focus here on the positive).

It will be different visiting Big Buddy than as we knew him and it has nothing to do with him missing a leg. The son is weird. At first I thought he didn't like kids. Then we thought he didn't like us. Now we aren't sure he likes much of anyone. CEO help us to love him and THANK YOU for bringing back Big Buddy and just in time for his 90th birthday. We've got a party to plan ;)

We're also flying high from a blessing from the agent network, but I'll keep you in suspense and let agent B file the full report.