I haven't mentioned May or her daughter Misty in a long, long time. I never know when I'll hear or run into them. Like many of our former friends from the Izzy days, it's hard to keep track of them, since they move at least once a year and often change phone numbers. May will call from time to time to give me an update on her family or will just stop by the house. The other night, she was on my mind, so I was surprised when she called the next day. I told her I'd thought of her and she said "really?- last night you say?", then I ask about her grandkids- Misty's boys, and she says: "that's why I called, we lost the youngest last night".
May and her daughter had gone out and left the boys with a 17 year old cousin. The cousin had called saying the baby (3.5 months) was fussy. Misty told her to lay him on his belly and pat his back and he'd go back to sleep. She did and found him dead an hour later. There was a lot of blood coming out of his nose, and an autopsy is being conducted- but no matter what comes from this, it will not bring back this baby.
Pray that they will not be crushed by their grief, but that the Lover will meet them in the midst of their pain-- that spiritual life will come from this, that the comforter will become more real to them than they have ever known.
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Meanwhile, Isaiah has come out of his surgery well. He is getting fitted for a hearing aid today and will have the cochlear fully functioning next month.
The amazing thing is that Tighe (Isaiah's mom) was praying that she would meet someone who had had an implant before the surgery. Her prayers were answered in an incredible way. She took the kids out to a play date at Fort Imagination park. This was the first time she took the kids out by herself apart from church. While there, she sees a man with the implant. She introduced him to Isaiah and asked him about it. He went deaf at age 21 and got the implant at age 28. His talking was clear and unlike that of a hearing impaired person. He said his cousin was the first person to receive the implant in the US. His family all have them since they have a degenerative disease and all lose their hearing. She asked what things sounded like with it and he explained that at first it was aweful- sounded like aliens, but after 2 weeks it all changed and that she sounded like a southern belle to him now. From what Tighe said the brain translates the sounds and I guess gives voice sounds to people. He is a teacher and doesn't even live in Abilene, but stopped at the park with his kids to let them play as they were on a road trip!!
So that gave her a lot of peace going into the surgery.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
A whole other world
Mbamie was telling me how freaked out her son was when she had her second child. He screamed and threw fits at the hospital and when she came home. I would have too. They don't inform or prepare their children in any way for the arrival of the next child. In fact they don't tell anyone really. I told her I thought this was crazy. Several people have offered to do a baby shower for her and she needs baby stuff- she doesn't have anything since her last child is 5 years old and was born in Africa. But she has refused having a baby shower thus far. So I asked her what they did back in Africa.
She explained to me that their culture is not like here. The is a lot of witchcraft and sorcery. People often wish evil of others- even family members, especially of anyone who seems to be advancing or doing well in life. She told me that there are potions they can give you to make you lose the baby. So, in order to protect the baby, the mother will not announce to anyone that she is expecting. When she is very obviously pregnant, and someone comments that she is pregnant, she denies it saying only that she has gained weight. Then when the baby is born, the baby does not leave the house for 3 months. The mother can get out, but not the baby. At the end of 3 months, there is a going out party- saying that the baby can now leave the home.
It would be so stressful to live like that! Imagine not having friends celebrate the new life within, of being fearful of those around you, of not being able to talk or share in the journey that is pregnancy.
While no one is out to get her or her baby here, Mbamie has had troubling news from the Dr. I am not at liberty to say what it is, even on this anonymous blog, I would feel as though I had betrayed her confidence if I wrote of it, but just be in prayer for her. She is very anxious about it and has difficult pregnancies anyways.
I was very thankful I got to go with her to the appointment. It was almost like it was meant to be that at least I was there. Her husband had to go to work, so she was going to go solo, but my work week was changed for just that week and agent B happened to be free that morning, so I volunteered to take her and translate again. She had to have a sonogram, then her OBGYN met with her and gave her the bad news, then she had to go get more blood work done for further tests. I had told the DRs that I can't normally make it to her appointments, since they only do them on Mon. and Tues. and I work those days, but they told me if I could come, they would go along with whatever schedule I could give them! I have been really impressed with her OBGYN, he has been gentle and compassionate.
She explained to me that their culture is not like here. The is a lot of witchcraft and sorcery. People often wish evil of others- even family members, especially of anyone who seems to be advancing or doing well in life. She told me that there are potions they can give you to make you lose the baby. So, in order to protect the baby, the mother will not announce to anyone that she is expecting. When she is very obviously pregnant, and someone comments that she is pregnant, she denies it saying only that she has gained weight. Then when the baby is born, the baby does not leave the house for 3 months. The mother can get out, but not the baby. At the end of 3 months, there is a going out party- saying that the baby can now leave the home.
It would be so stressful to live like that! Imagine not having friends celebrate the new life within, of being fearful of those around you, of not being able to talk or share in the journey that is pregnancy.
While no one is out to get her or her baby here, Mbamie has had troubling news from the Dr. I am not at liberty to say what it is, even on this anonymous blog, I would feel as though I had betrayed her confidence if I wrote of it, but just be in prayer for her. She is very anxious about it and has difficult pregnancies anyways.
I was very thankful I got to go with her to the appointment. It was almost like it was meant to be that at least I was there. Her husband had to go to work, so she was going to go solo, but my work week was changed for just that week and agent B happened to be free that morning, so I volunteered to take her and translate again. She had to have a sonogram, then her OBGYN met with her and gave her the bad news, then she had to go get more blood work done for further tests. I had told the DRs that I can't normally make it to her appointments, since they only do them on Mon. and Tues. and I work those days, but they told me if I could come, they would go along with whatever schedule I could give them! I have been really impressed with her OBGYN, he has been gentle and compassionate.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Princess's lack of social skills
Princess has a really hard time socially. Especially with people who are not in her "hood realm". She is basically on house arrest, so I have to go to her to see her and we can't go anywhere private. She has never been comfortable with me in her home and has no idea how to start or keep a conversation going. There are always others around and they are the ones who ask or answer questions or make comments.
This visit, I brought the kids. Princess' nieces and nephews were so excited we came and were bouncing all over the place over us being there. The only little girl is maybe half a year younger than my daughter and it was obvious that she wanted to make friends, but didn't know how. She tried sharing a chip with my daughter and sat right up next to her, but then she started to pull my daughter's hair, pinch or hit. Each time I'd take her hand away and say "no". Meanwhile Princess decided it was funny and laughed and laughed. I finally told her that her laughing was making the little want to do it more. Her parents were telling her that it wasn't funny too.
But I remembered immediately an incident when Princess was in about 3rd grade. She had cussed out a teacher and I took her mom to go and get her. When they got home, Princess' mom told everyone how Princess had cussed out the teacher and they all laughed and laughed. Now she is doing the same inappropriate behavior. I feel so bad for the kids. By not learning how to act with others, they are headed down the same path of frustration, anger and loneliness.
Pray that I'll have discernment in my relationship with her. She really acts like she doesn't want me around and I need to know what is best for her and us. I am one of the few people in her life that can show her that life doesn't have to be how she has always known it- chaotic, crime ridden, stagnant.
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On another note, Meshell called me today. They are in the process of moving again. They move at least once a year- which is formidable since they neither have a car or phone. She was at someone else's house and was waiting for her brother's girlfriend to get off work and take them to the old house to move some things today. She asked me to go get her mail and bring it to her. I asked her why she couldn't wait until the girlfriend took her there. She told me she didn't want someone taking the mail before she could get it. I learn so much by her being in my life. That would have never been a concern of mine, but for some it is their reality.
This visit, I brought the kids. Princess' nieces and nephews were so excited we came and were bouncing all over the place over us being there. The only little girl is maybe half a year younger than my daughter and it was obvious that she wanted to make friends, but didn't know how. She tried sharing a chip with my daughter and sat right up next to her, but then she started to pull my daughter's hair, pinch or hit. Each time I'd take her hand away and say "no". Meanwhile Princess decided it was funny and laughed and laughed. I finally told her that her laughing was making the little want to do it more. Her parents were telling her that it wasn't funny too.
But I remembered immediately an incident when Princess was in about 3rd grade. She had cussed out a teacher and I took her mom to go and get her. When they got home, Princess' mom told everyone how Princess had cussed out the teacher and they all laughed and laughed. Now she is doing the same inappropriate behavior. I feel so bad for the kids. By not learning how to act with others, they are headed down the same path of frustration, anger and loneliness.
Pray that I'll have discernment in my relationship with her. She really acts like she doesn't want me around and I need to know what is best for her and us. I am one of the few people in her life that can show her that life doesn't have to be how she has always known it- chaotic, crime ridden, stagnant.
_____________________________________________________________
On another note, Meshell called me today. They are in the process of moving again. They move at least once a year- which is formidable since they neither have a car or phone. She was at someone else's house and was waiting for her brother's girlfriend to get off work and take them to the old house to move some things today. She asked me to go get her mail and bring it to her. I asked her why she couldn't wait until the girlfriend took her there. She told me she didn't want someone taking the mail before she could get it. I learn so much by her being in my life. That would have never been a concern of mine, but for some it is their reality.
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