Sunday, October 26, 2008

chance happenstances

I had a huge longing to know how Princess was doing, but didn't feel like I should try to contact her, that it's important that if there is a move to be back in relationship, that it would come from her. I knew her birthday was coming up and wondered about her and her aunt. I had a car full of kids and an errand to do- I had planned to make lasagna and was out of noodles! So I hauled them in the store and went down the only aisle I needed and there she was! Princess and her family picking out pasta. My heart soared to see her and I gave her a hug and asked her how she was and how her aunt was. She said she was "busy" looking for a job (it's been a 9 month search so far) and that her aunt is better. I was just so thankful to see her. I wish there was more victory in her life and pray that there will be a day when she walks in the life of the Lover. I was so thankful for this "chance happenstance" just to see her and for my heart to be somewhat at ease.

Grandma Nelly and I took the kids to see our friend at a nursing home North of here and it was a good thing we went that day too, since we found out she had been in the hospital. We've told them to inform us if she is put in the hospital so that we can go out to see her, but her nursing home never does. She has no family and gets really upset being in the hospital. We were glad by another "chance happenstance", we ran into her social worker while there. The woman really seemed to care for our friend and offer her love and real attentive care to her.

I was proud of Meshell the other weekend. We had invited her and her son to AO#1's party and that day she called me for a ride, as I had expected. I told her that she needed to walk. It is a good little hike, but I've done it numerous times with small kids in strollers or wagons and the weather is not a discouragement here. Plus I know that she has walked to the convenience store not too far from us and we were just swamped with all the preparations. I was fully expecting that she wouldn't come, but they did! Sometimes it's hard to know when to help and when to just spurr her on to be independent.

Monday, October 13, 2008

prayers and visions

Agent B prayed for rain as we thanked the Lover for supper and before we had were done eating a luscious rain was falling. We thanked the Lover again. All this means a lot to a child. We were reading a new book to AO#1 in which a boy was given several dinosaurs as pets. AO#1 wanted to have a baby dinosaur like in the story and proceeded to ask the CEO for one. I told him he couldn't have a baby dinosaur, that they don't live anymore, but he prayed all the louder. So, I started praying right along with him. As he said "Lord, PLEASE give me a baby dinosaur", I prayed "Lord, PLEASE don't give us a baby dinosaur". We tried to outshout and pray each other until it all ended in laughter. Since AO#1 can't type, I have one up on him- "please CEO, no dinosaurs, just one healthy daughter come Jan. please."

It has been a bit nerve racking since I was with Mbamie when she lost her baby, and my sister has lost a child and I've heard of dozens of others. I try not to get fearful, but this baby does not kick much or real strong and I'm so busy sometimes that I often wonder if she's kicked that day or enough, or how she is... The other day I was anxious about it and not at peace and impatient with my family, so I finally said to them "come pray over my belly, so that the baby will be ok and that I will have peace about her". No sooner had they stopped praying, the baby was giving me some good kicks and the Holy Spirit was telling me to just chill and lay my burdens on his lap. Why do we live with fears instead of just sharing them from the get go? I hope I learned my lesson. Sometimes it's hard to ask for help.

Mbamie is doing much better. She still has some physical pain, but all the symptoms are getting less severe. Her emotions are up and down, as can be expected. But the smile is creeping back into her voice. Thank you CEO.

Meshell and I have been seeing each other a lot more. I take the kids to library reading time and pick her up on the way. Being a friend to her has it's times of frustration. Taking her somewhere is inevitably a way more complex thing than it seems at first, but the library is not so hard and she really enjoys getting materials for her, her son and her mom. Reading can open up so many worlds, so I'm excited for her too.

AO#1 has been drawing close to the Lover in many ways, so that has been exciting. He has told me that the Lover has told him He loves him, that he's precious and cute. This morning in the dark, as we sought out the Father, AO#1 kept exclaiming that he saw fruit on the tree in the front yard. The tree has been a lesson for us in many ways. When we moved here, a dying mesquite loomed large in the same place. It didn't provide shade, except from the massive trunk and when it started to drop branches over the driveway and sidewalk, we new it was time to cut it down. We have planted no less than 10 trees in our yard (no it's not that big, but the trees all died except a peach tree, that gave us delicious fruit for the first time this year). Then one day a tree came up all on it's own. It grew faster and stronger than the "fast growing shade tree" we planted 10 feet from it (and died a couple of years later). It is a fruitless mulberry tree, but AO#1 "saw" it with fruit on it. The amazing thing is that Agent B has been praying for fruit this entire year since Jan. I think this is the most exciting part by far of parenting- to see the Spirit speaking through or to our children and learning from them is truly amazing.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

The power of our words

Agent B. and I really believe in the power of our words. The saddest thing to me is when I see parents use their words to belittle, shame or harm their children, often due to their own ignorance, need to control or lack of confidence... This is something I see a lot among the poverty culture, but is not restricted to them by any means.

I've seen the power of a positive word over our son AO#1. He has a lot of issues and one of them is his myriad fears. One day I heard his father say over him "you are the bravest person I know". Inwardly I thought to myself "you don't have to lie to the boy", but I'm glad I held my tongue. I remembered a story of a prophetic man who visited a church and called one church member to stand up. The prophet said "you are a gentle man". The whole congregation gasped because it was well known that this man was an abuser and not at all gentle. However after some time, the man became gentle! The prophet spoke God's truth over him, not the lie he was living.

I have seen the power of Agent B's word of faith, blessing and empowerment over AO#1 and it really has been amazing and formative. Now, I am so glad he had the wisdom to speak it to his son. AO#1 is becoming more and more courageous. He is putting his fears aside. He overcame his potty issues and I've heard him declare on several occasions "I can do this, my dad said that I am brave".

Words can tear down a person and they can live in shame all their life for it, or the right words, at the right time, by the right person, can give a person, a child, a life, freedom to be all the Lord is calling him to be- even to overcome personality traits in order to function and live at a higher level, with success, in faith and in strength- all because of a well placed word.

Speech is free, give away gold today to someone you know.