Tuesday, July 29, 2008

An era ended?

Princess and I have been through a lot. We were matched with Big Brothers/Big Sisters when she was 7 and I was just recently married. She is now 16 and I'll celebrate 10 married years this year. She has always been aloof and not very open, although there have been break throughs from time to time. Many people have told me to throw in the towel over the years. But things have been especially strained since she got out of juvenile. She's back home now and not allowed to go places, so I would go to see her and she was always acting like she was uncomfortable with me there. While I was gone, I had hoped that she would call as a sign that she wanted to stay connected- nothing. More than anything, her hoping over to the tv, to a phone or leaving the room was a major hint that it was time to move on. I gave her back her library card that I've kept for her since she was little and we'd get books at the library and told her that I love her and if she ever wants to reconnect, she knows my number. I'm sad to let her go. I hope she will call some day or want to be friends again. Most of all, I hope she is serious or will get serious about her commitment to follow Christ. Her family has such a screwed up theology, it is really frightening. Princess' cousin was murdered recently and Princess said "well, he has his free ticket to heaven". Everyone is talking about how Cheezy was such a wonderful kid and I do hope he made Jesus his Lord, even if it was at the last minute, because he lived a life of drug dealing, car stealing, bullying nonesence. I know that everyone's reaction is their grief and no one ever wants to think the alternative of someone they know, that their life may actually be worse now.

Rosalind, Cheezy's mom has totally gone off the deep end. She is the one who was already struggling since her boyfriend overdosed some months ago. Now she is "on the war path" as her sister (Princess' mom) told me. The police had to drag her out of the street where she had laid down hoping a car would run over her. She picked up little rocks from the yard saying she was going to sell them and get some real rocks to use. She keeps crying out to die. She was in the psych ward for 3 days, but they released her- I'm not sure why.

Meanwhile her daughter, who is only 21 has had to do all the funeral arrangements and raise money for that and is not working like crazy trying to get money for a tombstone and keep her mom from committing suicide.

Princess has a ring that Cheezy gave her before he died. He said he knew he wouldn't live much longer, but would be her angel watching over her. This whole family just needs Jesus so bad and the Holy Spirit to comfort, stabilize, revitalize and redeem them from the chaos and lies. I'm not for the fire, hell and brimestone era, but I think the whole Jesus loves us all has betrayed people into thinking we could live however we want and there are no consequences. God help us.
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In other news, Meshelle's mom has been in the hospital for severe constipation and is talking about redoing her lifestyle to include better eating and exercise. I could write another novel on our recent interactions, the frustrations and glimmers of good, but if this will help her get a new take on living, that will be a very positive step indeed.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I believe the seeds you have sown in Princess life will grow at some point.

Just a thought or two. Have you read the book the Power of a Praying Parent? I imagine it could be hard to continue to pray for her and this book has great prayers. Also, since she has to be home letters might be a good way to reach out to her. Even if it is your kids sending her drawings. You could write a Bible verse and let them color around it. These are just suggestions. I am not trying to tell you what to do. What you have already done for her is amazing!

agent wife said...

Thanks Sara, I haven't read that book, so thanks. I will keep praying for her 'cause I've kind of asked the Lord that He would just graft her in to the same legacy I've been asking Him for with my kids.

And you're right, I don't think the time or years were wasted. I pray that at critical junctures of her life she will know what was real and true and life-giving from all the chaos of her world.