Princess and I have been through a lot. We were matched with Big Brothers/Big Sisters when she was 7 and I was just recently married. She is now 16 and I'll celebrate 10 married years this year. She has always been aloof and not very open, although there have been break throughs from time to time. Many people have told me to throw in the towel over the years. But things have been especially strained since she got out of juvenile. She's back home now and not allowed to go places, so I would go to see her and she was always acting like she was uncomfortable with me there. While I was gone, I had hoped that she would call as a sign that she wanted to stay connected- nothing. More than anything, her hoping over to the tv, to a phone or leaving the room was a major hint that it was time to move on. I gave her back her library card that I've kept for her since she was little and we'd get books at the library and told her that I love her and if she ever wants to reconnect, she knows my number. I'm sad to let her go. I hope she will call some day or want to be friends again. Most of all, I hope she is serious or will get serious about her commitment to follow Christ. Her family has such a screwed up theology, it is really frightening. Princess' cousin was murdered recently and Princess said "well, he has his free ticket to heaven". Everyone is talking about how Cheezy was such a wonderful kid and I do hope he made Jesus his Lord, even if it was at the last minute, because he lived a life of drug dealing, car stealing, bullying nonesence. I know that everyone's reaction is their grief and no one ever wants to think the alternative of someone they know, that their life may actually be worse now.
Rosalind, Cheezy's mom has totally gone off the deep end. She is the one who was already struggling since her boyfriend overdosed some months ago. Now she is "on the war path" as her sister (Princess' mom) told me. The police had to drag her out of the street where she had laid down hoping a car would run over her. She picked up little rocks from the yard saying she was going to sell them and get some real rocks to use. She keeps crying out to die. She was in the psych ward for 3 days, but they released her- I'm not sure why.
Meanwhile her daughter, who is only 21 has had to do all the funeral arrangements and raise money for that and is not working like crazy trying to get money for a tombstone and keep her mom from committing suicide.
Princess has a ring that Cheezy gave her before he died. He said he knew he wouldn't live much longer, but would be her angel watching over her. This whole family just needs Jesus so bad and the Holy Spirit to comfort, stabilize, revitalize and redeem them from the chaos and lies. I'm not for the fire, hell and brimestone era, but I think the whole Jesus loves us all has betrayed people into thinking we could live however we want and there are no consequences. God help us.
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In other news, Meshelle's mom has been in the hospital for severe constipation and is talking about redoing her lifestyle to include better eating and exercise. I could write another novel on our recent interactions, the frustrations and glimmers of good, but if this will help her get a new take on living, that will be a very positive step indeed.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Sunday, July 6, 2008
funeral bookends
The CEO was good to me in that I got to go to Canada to attend a cousin reunion and have a much needed break from Texan weather and taking care of kids. I had prayed and prayed for us to be able to go up, but when it looked impossible, I contacted my cousin telling her it looked like we wouldn't make it and she bought me a ticket. The rest was superb and I thank the CEO that He gives us times of refreshing. We need it because there are sorrows and troubles all around us.
I attended a funeral the day we drove off for me to catch my plane in Houston. It was for a little baby. Today, we came home and I attended a viewing, for an 18 year old, murdered last week- princess' first cousin (Rosalind's only son. You may remember Rosalind from my last post regarding her. She lost her boyfriend to an overdose in May and wasn't dealing with that well). Her niece (Princess' sister) told me that she is having a rough time, and can't be left out of their sight, that she is walking out in front of cars trying to kill herself. Both she and Princess try to put up a good front when other's ask how they are, but Princess' sister also told me that Princess fainted when she saw her cousin in the casket, that they had to carry her outside and calm her down. I had been praying and praying while gone if I needed to stay in relationship with her and thought that maybe if I got a call from her while I was gone that that would show me to stick with it. The call wasn't from her, but her sister wanted to make sure I knew and I can't give up with all this turmoil in her life. She is still dealing with her best friends' murder that occurred while Princess was locked up in juvenile.
To top it off, as we drove home today, we got a call from Tighe saying that Isaiah is sick again and in the hospital. They are not sure what is wrong now. He had a fever that wouldn't go down even with oral medicine or a shot. The doctors and ER kept sending them home and Tighe and her husband insisted they run more tests. A doctor did, going on their instinct and found that his white blood cells were really high, meaning he is fighting something, but they are not sure what. The good is that he acts normal as long as he's on lots of pain meds, but they are scared and in need of much support and prayer. Tighe's baby is only a couple of months old also, so they can't take her into the area that Isaiah is in which is hard on them all too.
Please lift up all these families whose lives seem so chaotic and filled with pain. May the CEO meet them in their deepest hurts, still the storms, bring them peace, and life. I'm also praying that the friends of Princess' cousin will not seek revenge and that her sisters and family would be protected. The sisters both have young children and have recently been burglarized, with people taking all of the deceased things. Princess' home and her sister's car have also been broken into. The police have not yet apprehended the killer who came from out of town. May they all somehow find the power to forgive and know the peace that passes understanding.
I attended a funeral the day we drove off for me to catch my plane in Houston. It was for a little baby. Today, we came home and I attended a viewing, for an 18 year old, murdered last week- princess' first cousin (Rosalind's only son. You may remember Rosalind from my last post regarding her. She lost her boyfriend to an overdose in May and wasn't dealing with that well). Her niece (Princess' sister) told me that she is having a rough time, and can't be left out of their sight, that she is walking out in front of cars trying to kill herself. Both she and Princess try to put up a good front when other's ask how they are, but Princess' sister also told me that Princess fainted when she saw her cousin in the casket, that they had to carry her outside and calm her down. I had been praying and praying while gone if I needed to stay in relationship with her and thought that maybe if I got a call from her while I was gone that that would show me to stick with it. The call wasn't from her, but her sister wanted to make sure I knew and I can't give up with all this turmoil in her life. She is still dealing with her best friends' murder that occurred while Princess was locked up in juvenile.
To top it off, as we drove home today, we got a call from Tighe saying that Isaiah is sick again and in the hospital. They are not sure what is wrong now. He had a fever that wouldn't go down even with oral medicine or a shot. The doctors and ER kept sending them home and Tighe and her husband insisted they run more tests. A doctor did, going on their instinct and found that his white blood cells were really high, meaning he is fighting something, but they are not sure what. The good is that he acts normal as long as he's on lots of pain meds, but they are scared and in need of much support and prayer. Tighe's baby is only a couple of months old also, so they can't take her into the area that Isaiah is in which is hard on them all too.
Please lift up all these families whose lives seem so chaotic and filled with pain. May the CEO meet them in their deepest hurts, still the storms, bring them peace, and life. I'm also praying that the friends of Princess' cousin will not seek revenge and that her sisters and family would be protected. The sisters both have young children and have recently been burglarized, with people taking all of the deceased things. Princess' home and her sister's car have also been broken into. The police have not yet apprehended the killer who came from out of town. May they all somehow find the power to forgive and know the peace that passes understanding.
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