chewed out

I went over to my neighbor's to give them an invitation to our baby's dedication party and was met with fierce anger. "I could have killed your damn dog! She attacked me and Sammy (his lap dog)" "my dog? Are you sure it was my dog?" "yes, your damn dog that always snarls and barks at me!" "what happened?" "Your damn dog jumped on me and went after Sammy" (He is shaking with rage) "I am so sorry that happened. We don't let her out, but we noticed that the kids had left the gate open last week" "sorry is not good enough!" He pointed at me and yelled more damn this and damn that (damn is his favorite word). His anger was poisonous as I felt anger come up in me. "what do you want me to do, put her down? I'm sorry this happened and know what it's like to have a dog come out and attack" (we had a pit bull bite at our dog's neck down our street when we were on a walk once). I kept saying I was sorry and he kept shouting at me. I wanted to march out with my invitation, but felt like I was to stay and infuse calmness in the home, so I listened and apologized and sympathized.

I discovered that most likely our dog had jumped up on him and barked at him and sniffed his dog from his wife's description, but when she said that he came back shaking, I realized that the biggest affront was that our dog had scared him. I felt this in my spirit. He is 85 years old and while he is hefty looking I know that he doesn't walk much even and hates growing old. I talked with his wife for quite a while as we shared stories of times stray dogs had followed us or given us fear and I apologized some more and gave them the invitation.

When I left, I was so upset within myself. The hatred and rage was so palpable. (This neighbor has a lot of hatred and rage on his best days, over everything and anything, so he was really spewing with this). Then I realized what a sad life he lives, with no joy, always cursing the government, the world, only caring about the state of his social security check, damning everything. I was sincerely sorry for what had happened, but there was no forgiveness within him. I have been thanking the CEO that I was chewed out like this because it has reminded me to pray for peace for him- not just in this circumstance, but even more so within his innermost being, with the CEO.