Jessie has moved out again. Her friend (Elizabeth) and her friend's boyfriend moved back and the foursome (with Jessie's boyfriend) decided to get a place together (again). Ironically, they are moving back into the house they were last in, since it was vacant. Every few weeks it seems Jessie moves. The last time the foursome was in a place it was real bad. Elizabeth's boyfriend does drugs and the couple doesn't get along. Although Jessie can't seem to put her foot down about staying away from a cheating boyfriend, she does put her foot down about the drugs and won't participate or tolerate it in the house (so she says). I asked her today what makes her think it will be any different this time. She just shrugged.
Her mom Frieda is getting worn out with the coming and going, being left with Jessie's babysitting jobs, constantly changing her home to accommodate Jessie and at times her boyfriend, helping her move or getting her what she needs for a new home... She told her daughter she can't keep going back and forth.
I was asking the Lover why Jessie would stay with her boyfriend and keep welcoming him back when she has admitted on several occasions that he is no good for her.
Then a memory came to me. I was in the 7th grade and our class was at an end of the year skating party. A total loser from class asked if I wanted to skate with him. We held hands and skated around the rink. He would switch between me and my friend. He was also a total jerk. He made racial and sexual slurs. He had stabbed a kid at school with a horse needle, put some crap in the teacher's desk and thrown our class' "good samaritan box" at a kid's head, causing injury. But here my friend and I were holding hands with this creep and blissfully skating with him. As we got in the bus, the other boys in the class (who had more respect for ourselves than we did) asked why we would skate with the jerk. We shrugged our shoulders, much like Jessie did the other day.
I guess for those few laps, we could forget the truth that on the other end of the hand was someone who tore us down, who spewed venom and destroyed people and we just lived in the moment, enjoying being asked, of being "with" someone, of having some level of connection with another human being and nothing more.
2 comments:
Oh boy, does this resonate but on the exact opposite side for me. I went through this with my best friend and I could NEVER understand why she dated/stayed with the men she did. Maybe it's because I'm intolerant or maybe it's because I have no patience w/ subprime, but, yeah, I know how frustrating it can be to watch and love and try and support when you just want to scream instead.
I also like that you had a memory about this in your own life and that you were able to "go there" with Jessie in a heart way when your head is shaking for the lack of sense this makes.
You do good work, A.
Word.
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