Where is daddy?

She's 4 years old. She's spent half her life as an alien in the United States. She's never met her father. But she looks for him every day. Her name is Perla.

Mbamie lost her husband when war struck her country of refuge. She made her way to the US with her children, now as a single mom. She found out that her husband is alive and has applied for him. Now, she and her two children wait.

The wait is excruciating for Perla. She is excited when she gets to talk with her father on the phone, but is filled with so many questions that no 4 year old should have to deal with.

She asks:

Is my father white or black?
How far is Africa?
Africa must be very far, he must have to walk a long way. This is taking so long for him to come, we must pray for him.

Every day she sets out breakfast for her father and forbids the other family from eating it. Meanwhile she herself has gone on a fast this past week as she prays that her father will come.

Once, while at a clinic, she told her mom she had a question, but didn't want her mom to get angry over the question. Her mom assured her repeatedly that she would not get angry. Her daughter asked if the man they had just seen could be her father, or why not even Mbole (her uncle). When her mom said they could not be her father, Perla cried all the way home, on the bus, passed the stares of strangers who could not possibly know the anguish of this little child who feels so alone.

While Perla's tears are disheartening, her brother's apathy is even more distressing. This 7 year old doesn't care to talk to his dad on the phone and feigns disinterest at the news that the man who he can no longer remember will one day come and resume his role as a present dad.

These heart issues are so complex. I thought getting through the immigration hoops were momentous, but war has forever changed these little children.

Lover, we join in Perla's prayers that you bring her father soon and in the meanwhile, be the daddy they have always needed and longed for. Show them compassion and ease the hurt of the years they have done without and gone through so much change. Help them with their feelings of abandonment. Bring this family together again soon. May they enjoy nearness unlike anything before. Help them navigate through the myriad hidden troubles and stresses of this period in their lives.