Princess celebrated her sixteenth birthday in jail Sunday. Nobody went to see her. I've had company and her family didn't find a way out there. This is her second consecutive birthday while locked up. I called her mom tonight to find out how their visit went assuming they had gone. She told me Princess asked her why they didn't ask for me to give them a ride out.
And why should I?
She doesn't write me. She doesn't reciprocate any kind of love, friendship or thanks. She puts on a total front of bravado and lack of emotions towards me. Maybe she really doesn't care if I'm in her life, unless it can get her something she wants, a visit from her family, a ride, diversion... I don't know.
All I know is that my Lover told me to give and give and give, to love even when it hurts, even when there is no reciprocation, especially when it's hard.
I've seen her from a little girl. I made a commitment to be in her life and to be there for her. The Lover gave me a dream that she would be among those rescued from deep darkness because of my involvement in her life.
I can not stop reaching out to her. I can not stop giving to her or loving her- no matter how she reacts or doesn't.
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