Lillian

I run into Lillian and her hoard periodically, most often at the grocery store. We met through Izzy years ago, where she would come with all her kids to get food. They would pile out of her car like some kind of magic trick, but were all smiles and some incredible beauty.

Lillian has had a hard life. She's suffered lots of abuse from her dad, then from husbands and boyfriends. She now has 7 kids. She didn't get very far in school, but is real ingenious in taking care of her kids. She gets disability checks on a couple of them and had some child support for a few others until that ex got himself killed. When I first met her, she was living in a two bedroom house with all 6 kids, but it was her's. She told me she bought it for 10 grand and it came with two lots. Now she lives next door and rents out the first house, which pays for her payment in her current home. Once I came by and she showed me her newest investment- a pregnant dog. Each pup would get her a hundred or more dollars.

I had taken a few pictures of her and her newest baby, and dropped them off when she wasn't home, but she said she never got them, so I made reprints and took them over today. A teenager was out front on a bike, with baggy pants, talking on a phone. I kept staring at him, thinking he looked a lot like Peter, one of the older kids- but how could that be- this kid is too old.

He told me his mom wasn't in and I asked if he was Peter- he was. I was floored. Has it been that long? The children we used to see so regularly have grown and life moves on.

But what struck me was how beautiful, confident and friendly the older kids were (the only ones home). They remembered my name, looked me in the eyes, chatted some and waved as I left.

A lot of people have thought and wanted Lillian to lose her kids to the system. She's not had a lot of resources and I'm sure they've been exposed to lots that they should not have been, but one thing they have had was a mother's love. I was real proud of her today. She has done well.

collective

Sometimes I really miss being a part of a group, of working together for a common goal, the relationships, worship, study, encouragement... I don't feel that we will be in this desert place forever and there are little times of connecting here and there, but the comfort and reassurance (false or real) are what I miss a lot from being part of an organized church.

One thing we found that is exciting to me is child sponsorship. I know lots of people do it, but we hadn't been able until recently. We watched a promotional video and two things really struck me in it. One was that as a sponsor, our lifestyle is not altered much on this end. We are out a little money. But for the child it can mean everything. A totally transformed life: food, shelter, educational opportunities, community resources, health services and hope for a better life. That is God's economy.

People often say- but what about the millions of kids without food and that was the other exciting part. I may only be able to help one right now, but there are over a million other people helping just through this one organization. So we may just be able to do a little bit, but together that little bit could really change the world, and certainly a life.

A friend posted http://www.freerice.com/index.php. It's a vocabulary game you can play online and when you get words right, rice is donated to the United Nations Food Program. Again, my grains of rice may seem measly, but together it becomes meals for others.

thankful

Right now I am so very thankful that the kids are on medicaid. The kids have and are consuming copious amounts of medicines this last couple of weeks, thanks to the flu hitting our home and to a terrible double ear infection. I had to take AO#1 back to the doctor today to confirm that the first round of antibiotics was not helping and that a second one is needed. Medicaid paid for it all- doctor visits for 2 kids, one of them twice, plus about $290 worth of medicine. So I'm thankful and feel for those who have to struggle it out, wrangle with insurance or make decisions like house and expenses or health.

debonaire

One of the fun things from our Izzy days was offering extras. I liked to help with cutting or doing hair- although I am not particularly gifted in that area. For people who have no money to do extras like that, they just appreciate a free cut or styling, no matter that it's not totally professional.

Big Buddy has his own hair style- long and crazy. I've been teasing him for years that I could braid it for him. He lets me wash and trim it, but has very specific instructions for cutting it. This last week, words I never thought I'd hear came from his mouth- "I was thinking you could plat my hair" (braid it). So I got to slip into my hairdresser disguise and infiltrate his home where he had old photos strewn about and stories to share. It was like a little oasis after leaving my home of fevers and crying, whining children. He also wanted an electric razor, so while I was out restocking my tylenol supply and getting a second humidifier, I picked out his new pride and joy. He gave me a very sizable amount of money. I thought it was exorbitant, until I got to the razors isle and found out they actually do cost a small fortune- at least some of them do- the ones that Big Buddy was interested in do.

Big Buddy has funny ways. He'll use the same hole filled towels, socks and blankets for 30 years even though he has drawers of new ones given to him as gifts. But if he is buying some food or something he needs- he won't settle for the store brand, or anything but the best. I'm the opposite. I almost always make my purchase according to the price tag.

So, I bought what he would have wanted, spent all the money he sent me with and got him a super duper electric razor. It was worth every penny. He was beaming as I showed him the features and strutted out his chest, laughing and saying that he was a big shot now. He's pinched and saved all his life and now this somewhat extravagant, yet small item gave him such delight and made him feel so valued. Exactly how he should feel.

I told him I'd take his picture in the morning with his new hair do and a freshly shaven face. He told me he'd be frying me up some pork steaks.

Tott's treasures, vol.2- Moses

My kids love rhymes, especially if they have actions, so I created this one about Moses for them.


Little baby moses (make a fist with one hand and wiggle the thumb)
Floating in the river (cup the other hand for the basket and put thumb in it moving along)
Rescued out
to be the deliverer (remove thumb from basket)

God's people were in trouble (shake hands in distress)
Moses was the man (hold up thumb)
To lead them out
To the promised land (march thumb in front of other hand with fingers extended)

Listen to God's voice (hold hand to ear)
He'll call you too (point to child)
He'll guide you
And help you in all you do.

under the weather

I ran into Tiffany whose sister was murdered (Princess' friend) some 7 or 8 months ago. She says it's still so hard to deal with it and that the hardest part was that they hadn't even gone to court yet. I don't get it. A murder happens and they haven't even gone to court over half a year later? This is crazy. First of all, nothing will be fresh anymore- evidence wise. Second of all, this is a second brutality on the family- that they are just hanging, in limbo, with no resolution, justice or closure to the crime. I don't know a thing about the justice system, but this just doesn't seem right. Even for the boys next door, who got caught robbing cars, they still don't have a date set. How can they try to find a better path, never knowing when they will go to serve time, or if that will even happen, how long...?

On another note, half of the fair mother city is sick right now with the flu and our house is affected too. Agent B has been out of commission all week and A0#1 is running fever as I write. Sunday night, the kids and I stopped in on Frieda who was cooking up something. Vicky was there telling us about her upcoming doctor's appointment. She's 19 with liver problems. Of course, she says that her liver is shot because she had to take ibuprofen non stop when she broke her foot and "they" wouldn't do anything for it. A couple of days later, I stop over and find out that Frieda, Vicky and Jessie are all sick. The next day a firetruck and ambulance drive up. I wasn't sure who was going to come out. The kids and I had been dancing away and next door my neighbor was in distress. It turns out it was Frieda who was having problems breathing. She has bronchitis and is home now.

Big Buddy was at home freaking out because he knew Agent B was under the weather and thought the ambulance may have come for him. His greatest concern was that he wouldn't be able to get to the hospital to go see him. I'm glad those days are behind us, weeks on end of only getting to see Big Buddy in the hospital.

I don't like being sick or seeing anyone else sick. It's a good thing I never got into the health profession. Prayers for healing this way are appreciated.

Offended for me

Jessie and her girlfriend, Vicky were on their front porch smoking cigarettes when I came out with the kids and their bikes. Across the street about 6 teens were walking by. Vicky hollers at them: "hey quit cussing, can't you see there are little kids around!" They blurt something back and Vicky retorts: "what did you say? You want a piece of me?". Practically asking for a fight, but they continue on and she looks apologetically at me telling me how it really bothers her when people act like that around kids.

I wonder what it was that bothers her... that she has been around crass/yelling/disrespectful people all her life and childhood (she's barely out of teenagehood herself), or that she doesn't have a whole lot of good fruit coming out of her own life, so she tries to make up for it with what she thinks I would want to hear when I'm around, or if she's genuinely concerned for my kid's exposure to cussing. I've always found it very weird when people apologize for other's behavior for me- because I'm the "church" person.

How is it that Jesus was so comfortable with the "lower class", no walls, no barriers, no perceptions that he was attacking them with his religiosity? He was so approachable, he broke down the barriers and walls and embraced us in all our harshness and rough exteriors (and interiors), while religion has built high towers to shield us from the "sinful people" of the world- where we can judge, disdain and bicker to our shame and folly.