Heavy

In order to draw in and keep readers, I should write a scintillating first report full of hope and triumph, but this blog isn't about drawing in or even keeping readers, it's about sharing our story. Tonight my story is disturbing and my heart is heavy. I'm trying not to take my frustration out on my husband and kids, my tongue is sore from biting it.

I went to see my "little sister" tonight. We were matched 8 years ago this coming month, here in the Fair Mother City. Originally I had wanted a teenager so I could be there during the tough teen years. I was thinking I'd only be here a short while. Joke's on me because only 7 year olds were available and we've stayed here all this time and now "Princess" is 15. I picked a very troubled child out of the "lineup" and have been through the wringer with her ever since (and her with me). We've both learned a lot, I guess. OK, I've learned a lot and I can only wish that she has seen something in us, Someone in us who will take her to the place someday of joining allegiances with the winning team.

So far, the fowler is having his way with her life. He's had it out for her since long before her birth. I'm not sure how many of the gory details I should go into here, but I've lamented long and hard with the CEO how any one person could have so many strikes against her. I could make a list of grievances a mile long, so many reasons why she should not "make it" in this world by any and all definitions, or "make it" in the next world either.

I visited her in juvy tonight, where she will sit another few days before her next court hearing at which they will determine that she no longer has any hopes of "rehabilitation" here in Abilene. She's "used up" every resource available here and spit them out, heart just as hard as always, denying any wrongdoing on her part... as always. It's hard for me to keep dreaming and hoping and aspiring for the best for her when her teachers, probation officer, even our match organization says she isn't worth my time.

I don't believe these 8 years have been a waste. I won't believe it. I don't believe Princess' path is predetermined for a lifetime of crime and incarceration. I won't believe it. The Lord gave me a dream once about Princess and to that I hold, and struggle for and grasp for... that she will be set free.

May her time locked away just keep her from evil on the streets in these formative years and lead her to the One who can take all those labels and generational sins and her mangled past, turn it upside down and draw out of her her inheritance of royalty from heaven, as one who is fashioned by the One who Is, who was and who will be.

She's looking at a minimum of a year after an adjustement period in Marlin, Texas of 10 months- as far as she knows. Please pray, beseech and plead for Princess. She needs a Damascus road demonstration like none I've ever known before.