Big Buddy, Little Buddy and the Lover

I don't know how to begin. We have a dear friend. To Agent B he's Obi-wan. To me he will always be Big Buddy. When we first started getting close to him, we couldn't fathom calling him by his first name (he's in his 80s and that seemed disrespectful). But to say Mr... seemed too formal. After we had our first child (AO1), Big Buddy couldn't remember his name. One day he called AO1 little Buddy and so we came up with Big Buddy and little Buddy.

The Lover shows up a lot at Big Buddy's. I have often had an increased awareness of the timeless perfect Lover permeating our very presence- when eating together, performing some menial task or most often watching the Buddies together. I'm quite sure that the Lover finds it irresistible to simply watch their interaction and is compelled to come and join in on the duo's affection.

AO1 seems oblivious to the fact that Big Buddy can hardly walk or has little strength. He goes up to him expecting to be lifted into his lap. Somehow Big Buddy draws from a well of strength that is not his own and can always pick up our son. He can hardly manage a cup of water at times, but 30 lbs of energetic toddlerhood is suddenly cuddling him, hugging him, touching his face, hair and hands.

The most recent manifestation, when heaven came down into our midst, was when AO1 ended up massaging lotion into Big Buddy's horribly crippled arthritic hands. Big Buddy said he wished the nurse was so gentle, that the therapist was so loving, that others were so tender as our son.

Inwardly we are writhing as we face change. Big Buddy seems to get weaker by the day. It's becoming a real zoo at his home. Strangers in the health "care" industry have started coming more frequently, walking through our friend's home as if they own the place, talking about their "client", glad to have more hours to work. This is our friend, our adopted grandfather, our neighbor and so much more. It is hard to adjust to change to talk about moving him or about others coming in. Something has to happen and change is never easy. But one thing remains and little Buddy said it perfectly. He walked up to Big Buddy tonight and said: I love you. And no matter what happens, we always will.