I have fasted before, because I chose to, not because I had to do without. I am sometimes amazed by the amount of privilege I enjoy. So much of it has nothing to do with me. I had a "head start" or a boost over much of humanity due to the place I was born, the family I had, the education and wealth I've enjoyed. Even as we live by faith financially, we are heaped with gifts and privilege by family, friends and even the poor. I'm not sure why we are so richly blessed, but I am thankful. At the same time, I am humbled by the fact that I have never had to do without.
My friend May called a couple of days ago. She is a single mom, living with her daughter and daughter's two children (a toddler and infant). She has been an example to me of sacrificial love. Most people would look at her life and say that she hasn't gotten far. They often move as housing gets difficult or they get behind in bills, she usually has a new job every few months or year, vehicles are also revolving doors. But she has been consistent in connecting with us, calling, stopping by to catch up. She used to come for services at Izzy. She also got babysitters so that she could help us out with the overnight gig, often giving us the heads up on who was high or might be an "issue", getting up early to help make breakfast and loving others as herself.
She told me recently that she has been diagnosed with neuropathy in her legs (pains due to her diabetes). She says it makes it difficult for her to get to work all the time because sometimes she is in such pain. She's in her 40s. She told me the reason her legs are so bad is because she can't control her blood sugar well, because she can't always afford her insulin. She explained it to me this way: "If it were just me, I could do without electricity or heat from time to time in order to buy my insulin, but I have my daughter and her kids, so I have to keep up with rent and bills for their sake". Meanwhile she does without.
So often, I find myself taking care of myself first. I have a lot to learn from May.
Lover of our souls, look down on May and give her healing and joy and help through her times of need.
6 comments:
Please don't take this as a judgment on May. I think I get what you're saying here. It's just that in twenty years of having diabetes, going without insulin has never been an option! (Thankfully I have never had to consider this. We can pay for and have expenses covered for my diabetes care). While I was pregnant I had to keep bloodsugars in control--not just for me but for baby. When moms take care (I don't mean selfishly) of themselves they are helping their children too--because children need moms who are well. I think what I'm getting at is yes we always need to be grateful for what we have, yes we need to be sacrificial but yes moms and dads need to be well too. Maybe this is more a commentary on health coverage than on what you've said here.
Lots of Love
Lil' Sis
moms and dads need to be well too.
Please explain.
What if it's either/or?
I mean...the story here of May is about her sacrificing FOR the better of her children/grandchildren.
Not an ideal decision anyone wants to make. But her sacrifice slaps me stupid.
Her doing w/o insulin only affected her health. Not a baby's, etc.
I agree Agent B. And I have never been in May's position. That sacrifice is great. I was just saying that going without insulin could put her in the hospital--with greater bills and the total inability to help her family....well there are just a lot of different scenarios. What I meant by "moms and dads need to be well too," is that for kids to be well parent/s have to be able to care for them. If a parent's own life is at risk (For me lack of insulin is a death sentence) then there is no one to care for the child/ren. I have no doubt that May is doing her all, and will do her all do ensure that.
Earlier I mentioned that health coverage would be ideal. She wouldn't have to choose whether or not to take insulin vs. feeding, and caring for her family. She wouldn't deny her child insulin but she must deny herself that. I just know that without insulin...I wouldn't be here. It is not optional. She shouldn't have to be in that position and she is. I really am not saying that she's making the wrong choice. I haven't been in an either/or situation. I would certainly have done whatever it took for my family to be well if I was in her position. I'm sorry if this seems like rambling or getting off track. I'm projecting myself into this scenario. Just having lived with diabetes and knowing what it's like to have high blood sugars and what it can do...I just felt like I needed to comment. It's not fair for May. It's just not. But I am glad for sacrificial love. Without that we all wouldn't be here.
What I don't agree with is "Her doing without insulin only affected her health. Not a baby's..." Anytime my bloodsugar is out of whack it affects those around me and those who love me. It affects my judgment, it affects my abilities--to hold things, to drive to make decisions. It scared me to think that if I was low and my child needed me I couldn't help. No, it affects everyone.
I know that agent wife's intent in this blog is an example that we can learn from. It just struck me...
I'm sure you gathered that those last comments were made by the same "anonymous"
Lil'sis
Some background info: May's "kids" are grown adults (20 or 21) with babies of their own. They are not as dependant on her like a small child would be.
And I think May's diabetes is a mild version (?...) if there is such a thing...
I agree with both of you that it's not fair and she shouldn't have to make those kinds of sacrifices. This is where the body of Christ needs to come together and get creative in caring for each others needs.
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