Big Buddy

Agent B has shared about our dear friend Big Buddy (Obi-wan) who is being daily taunted by the scalpel. He's scheduled for a leg amputation. I can not imagine what that would be like. I also know that he is in so much pain that he just wants it gone. His only fear is that the pain from the leg being gone will match or surpass the pain from his foot's infection.

Other pains are showing their ugly faces and I'm not sure how we are to deal with them. I really believe Big Buddy is loving having his niece and son here with him through all of this and some great healing has occurred between father and son- praise be to the Lover who has answered this prayer. We've kept our distance to let the family be together, plus we are just not sure how we all fit. I imagine it would be hard to see strangers who obviously love your dad and are loved by him when all your life you've received harsh words and actions from him. We just got to see another side of him. Meanwhile, we have found the family difficult because they are the worst listeners I've ever met and at times belittling to us. I thought Big Buddy was oblivious to this since it's his family, but he is frustrated. He wants them to think like he thinks, to act how he would have them act, to be more like him.

I think we are all like that. Even when we hate things in ourselves, we really deep down think we are right, we have the answers. At least, that's how I feel so much of the time and am not sure how to get out of this warped idea of myself- except I guess to shut up and listen. To learn from others and most of all watch for the ways of the Lover in all situations.

I'm not sure how we are to be in this place and time, except that we are to love unconditionally, no matter how different others are or act or talk. May I be compassionate and understanding and giving and forgiving here and now.

Lover, give Big Buddy peace. Peace in his body and with his relatives and friends.